Happy Birthday Tears

I sometimes think there is a hormone left from my pregnancy with our last daughter. This little hormone hid somewhere in a dark corner where hormones have access and comes out only now and then. The fact that my "baby" is 14 years old has nothing to do with anything. It obviously is a hormone that is healthy and takes care of itself so it can peek out for special occasions, like this Sunday.

My oldest daughter's birthday, her 19th birthday, is this Sunday.

I am happy for her. I was happy to pick out a card for her till I started to read them. Memories...what happened to that little girl? My eyes misted up on more than one card. Thank goodness Hallmark was closed and I was in Target. I would have been standing in a puddle at Hallmark I am sure, sniffling through the cards. She 'deserves the best" but I dodged Hallmark so I could actually read a card and get through the whole thing. Hormones and Hallmark are NOT a good mix.

I think of my Mom alot, now that I am a mom. I recall when I turned 30. She cried. I didn't get it....couldn't understand why SHE was crying, I was the one having a birthday and it didn't bother me that I was 30 because I didn't consider myself old. Dumb, dumb, dumb, I was so blind!

My mom cried because her "baby" was 30! Which meant SHE was 30 years older too! She remembered the years I was so reliant on her, when she helped me walk, held my hand as we went places, she remembered in her mind having a purpose. I wish I would have had the wisdom then, as a daughter to see what was going on. I would have reassured her that no matter how old I got, I still needed her, she still had a purpose...she was still my Momma.

So for all you kiddo's out there, that see tears in your mom or dad's eyes, as you get older, when you get your first apartment, when you get married, when, when, when......just know behind the misty eyes is a lot of memories, alot of pride in you, a lot of love, and still a heart that needs to be needed in your life. A heart that remembers loving you.

So my soon to be 19 yr old...I remember, I mist up, I smile, and I am ready for many more years of celebrating with you! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!